Rejected Greeting Cards

Have you ever wondered why Disney World is the only people trap operated by a mouse? And why do the alphabet song and ’Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star’ have the same tune? Or...

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?

2. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would ever eat?

3. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

4. If Jimmy cracks corn and noone cares, why is there a song about him?

5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

6. If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

U think ur good @ comp. acronyms? So y don’t u try th@ list?

NAPSTER
No longer A Possible Solution To Escape Record-buying

TWAIN
Technology Without Any Important Name

PCMCIA
People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

ISDN
It Still Does Nothing

APPLE
Arrogance Produces Profit Losing Entity

SCSI
System Can’t See It

DOS
Defective Operating System

I really don’t know why they left it in trash? They are sooo great! So we took care of them, maybe you’d find them useful.

1. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! ’Cause when I got one...I got real snippy.

2. I heard you had herpes...and I feel terrible...I’d say "get well soon" but I know it’s incurable!

3. My tire was thumping I thought it was flat...when I looked at the tire, I found your cat...Sorry!

4. You had your bladder removed and your on the mends... here’s a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends!

5. You’ve announced that you’re gay, and won’t that be a laugh, when they find out you’re one... of the Joint Chiefs of Staff!

6. So your daughter’s a hooker, and it spoiled you day...look at the bright side, she’s a really good lay!
7. Heard your wife left you...How upset you must be...Don’t fret about your wife though, She’s moving in with me!
8. Your computer is dead... and it was so alive...you shouldn’t have installed...Win ’95!
9. You totalled your car...and can’t remember why...maybe it was...that case of Bud Dry!
10. So you lost your job...It’s one of those hardships in life...Next time work harder... and stay away from the boss’s wife!

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